"A Man of Constant Sorrow"

Do you know where that song title comes from? I do not. For the whole of my life, I thought it referred to Jesus. Imagine me thinking that. I thought it was from the Bible, but I could not find it there...yet, that may have to do with the translation I was using.

Anyway, I mention this because today my heart broke entirely. Do not despair; I survived the breaking of it. Please bear with me as I try to describe what happened.

It dawned on me, upon this early gold-drenched morning and quite all of a sudden that the saddest day of Jesus' life, or certainly one of the saddest, was that day in which he was made to remember that indeed the earth was not his home. I KNOW it caused him great sorrow and pain when he realized that he had come to this earth a stranger only to leave it as one.

Have you ever felt as though you were a stranger here? Do people laugh at you and point? Do they misunderstand your dearest intentions? Do they strike out at you for no reason? Then we are a pair, and you can understand why my heart broke. How awful to realize after a lifetime of feeling at-odds with the world, that we must die at-odds with it...that it is not our home any more than it was Jesus' home. Nevertheless, this is the benefit and goal of Christendom...to be "in the world, but not of it". While there is a sadness upon realizing that your greatest contribution to the world will be the leaving of it, there is also a peace-of-sorts. Perhaps this is because when one has wandered for so long, homeless, and one at last finds out why, there is a certain joy mixed with the sorrow.

Even so, I wept as I have only done on two other occasions.

What Is Happening To Us?

I cannot, for the life of me, figure out what is wrong with us nowadays. We aren't making much sense, are we? Have we ever? Now, there's a question. Must we?

365 Days

Friend, you and I need to be doing good 365 days of the year, whether alone or in a crowd.

I'm not writing things only for others to follow. I, too, have to act on them. I make mistakes, too.

Let the one with ears, listen

Act 5:4 Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God.
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Thus saith the Lord:

Thou hast neglected My counsel, misjudged my servant and turned against him I sent to bless thee. This I have against you. For on that day in which thou didst call me, by thy mouth, into the midst of thine iniquity, thou didst call upon the Lord thy God for a witness against thee. For in that day, when thou didst forget my servant, then didst thou render thyself and thy house my enemies. In judging, thou hast sealed thy own judgment, and taken thy place among the wicked who seek to instruct the Lord in whom He ought place His trust. Yet, know thou all thy days of thy life that the Lord thy God loveth whomsoever He will. Know thou, above all things, that thou mayest not curse that which God hath blessed, nor despise that which God, through the blood of Christ, doth love. If Abraham and all the prophets curse this man, but God say love him, whom dost thou obey? Though thou knowest not why, it was thy path to obey. Yet thou hast chosen to walk not in it.

Was My appointment of a hermit and prophet over your house not sufficient for thee? Was it not enough and plenty that I chose your house upon which to lavish my servant?

Say what thou wilt, the Lord knoweth thy heart, and that on that day thou wast not sincere. Lying, therefore, to men, thou hast brought upon thyself My wrath. This having taken place at a time in which I had sought to bless thee. As it was in times before, and will be after, the bones of My enemies become a legacy and sign unto those that follow. Therefore, fear not man, but rather, fear God thy Maker and thy Judge. For on that day, thou didst incur the wrath of thy God. Excepting the turning of thy heart and the mending of thy ways, thy fate shall be as those before thee. Thus saith the Lord: I shall give thee cause to reconsider thy steps.

If thou return unto me those things that are mine, great be thy reward, yet if thou continually withhold from Me that which is My own, I shall require it of thee and all thy generations to come. Be not deceived; it was not folly that brought you unto this place on this day. For it has long been my desire to love, cherish, and bless thee and thy descendants as long as the earth is. Yet, thou cannot be blessed whilst thou be slow to bless my servant who looketh to thee for help. This thou knowest well. If thou wouldst remember Me, let it be today.

It was my heart’s thought to send you as a blessing to him who blessed, yet today, thou hast mocked the Lord thy God. Thou hast abused My servant, yet it was not that man alone whom thou deceived. Thou hath also deceived the Lord thy God. Unless thou repent, change thy ways, and recompense, thou shalt then see the hand of God full against thee and all thy generations. No more will I hear thy cries, for in thy breath is the stench of lies and deception. The Lord thy God doth not long suffer those who soothe with the one hand but smite with the other. Let him who hath ears listen. Heed the word of the Lord: Bless whom I have blessed and let your care of him be as would be due thy Lord and thy God, else all thy plans shall come to naught and thy life a shadow and wisp. My servant, speaking this at his own peril and at my will, freeth himself from judgment due had he written it not. Those who stand against him stand against me, and who can long stand against the Lord thy God? Repent, therefore; and live.

No Recent News

The last time I heard, my falcon friends don't seem to be doing as well as we'd like. The bird they found, who looked like Hera, is not healing as quickly as we'd hoped. The eggs they recovered were not viable, according to their last report. Because she is not healing fast, it is likely that Zeus could leave the nest. This is especially true since the nest is empty, but for him. That would be sad to me. I would miss him. Things must have got pretty bad for the falcons, since I have not heard about them in weeks. For awhile there, the emails were coming fairly regularly. Ah, well...maybe Zeus will somehow be able to pick up and carry on.

No matter the depths of my grief, I know for a fact that the other trained folks taking care of them care even more about these birds than I do, and they are doing everything they can to protect them. I applaud their efforts and I share their excitement that whoever the recovering female is (and I really pray it is Hera), she's one powerful and hearty bird. After all, she won the fight; didn't she? It reminds me of the old after-a-fight line: "If you think I look bad, you ought to see the other guy". Whoever she is, I wish her well as she tries to recover. She's been flying a little bit more each day, though she did not appear to be ready to fly in the open air just yet. Has anyone heard any more than I have?

Update

"Unfortunately, there's sad news to report from the top of the Woodmen Tower this morning.

The two falcon chicks that hatched last week weren't able to survive the cold, wet weekend in Omaha. The combination of wind, rain and cold are believed to be contributing factors, as well as the fact that Zeus spent much of his time hunting for food for his new family and just wasn't able to provide adequate incubation and warmth. The remaining three eggs have been removed from the nest and will be incubated by Raptor Recovery, but at this time it's still unknown if the eggs are viable.

The latest report on the injured female believed to be Hera is that she is slowly starting to eat on her own but still not flying. She is at Raptor Recovery in Elmwood, Nebraska.

A representative from Raptor Recovery said that there is always a possibility that if Hera recovers soon and returns to the nest, that she and Zeus could have another clutch yet this season.

As more about the situation is known, there will be continued updates on our falcon family."

Isn't that awful? Ah, well...from bad things sometimes something good happens. This is the oddest weather I can remember, though I imagine it is better than tornadoes. The wind has been so bad here, too, these last few days. It was blowing 40 miles per hour a day or so ago...any chicks left for long in that wind would either freeze or dry out altogether. Maybe the Good Lord will bring us some better weather and things will start to perk up around here.

The news about the wounded falcon who may be Hera is not good either, because I believe they thought she'd be better sooner. At least we can be glad she is in a good place to get well, and not lying on the ground somewhere.

At this point, we just keep hold of our faith and hope for better days...better times.

The News Is Not So Good

First, there was this:
"The Eggs Are Hatching!

The Chicks are Almost Here!

Hurry and check the FalconCam at http://www.woodmen.org/falcons/falconcam/falconcam.cfm for a chance to see this exciting event! Zeus is currently watching over the eggs as they hatch."

I can't tell you how excited I was to hear that the eggs had started to hatch. Then, a short time later, I got this message:

"Female Falcon Hera Injured

Male Falcon Zeus Tends to Chicks...

There's big news outside the 28th floor of the Woodmen Tower.

As of Thursday morning, the first of five Peregrine Falcon eggs had hatched and the male Falcon Zeus was tending the nest. Falcon fans keeping an eye on “Falcon Cam” ( www.woodmen.org/falcons ) caught glimpses of the chick early Thursday morning.

The female falcon, Hera, is believed to be injured and recuperating at Raptor Recovery Nebraska, Inc., following a Monday evening encounter with another falcon that was presumably killed. All is “presumed,” as the two unbanded females are virtually indistinguishable. The injured falcon was left with bruises, stitches and scuffed feet.

Woodmen Tower Manager, Tim Sautter, said that although he could not determine with 100% accuracy whether the injured bird is Hera, his feeling is that it is, and that once the injured female recovers, in about a week, she will return to the Woodmen Tower and her new brood. If she is not Hera, most likely Zeus will run her off.

Sautter and Woodmen of the World Associates are hopeful that Zeus will continue in his single-parenting responsibilities, sitting on the unhatched eggs, making brief flights for food and feeding the new chicks. Raptor Recovery Nebraska will assist Zeus in his efforts, by supplying him with quail to shorten his time away from the nest. “When it comes to wildlife, there is always an element of drama,” says Sautter, “but we are slow to interfere with the falcons’ natural instincts to handle the situation. As long as Zeus is incubating, and then feeding the chicks when they hatch, we will leave him alone and hope for the best.”

2008 marks the 20th anniversary of the Peregrine Falcon Program at Woodmen Tower. If all five eggs hatch, it will bring the total number of chicks hatched at the Tower to more than 50. For more information, visit www.woodmen.org/falcons."

I was devastated. I had come to know these two falcons, and was so happy that they were doing so well. Of course, I've had several thoughts of my own about all this. For example, when one of the articles before these mentioned that Hera was acting excited and agitated (previous post), I can see now that she was acting that way because she knew there was another female in the vicinity. The cries I'd been hearing were not so much for me. They were cries to let the nearby female falcons know that she was alive and well and expecting chicks any day. She was begging them to stay away, yet telling them that she would fight to the death to protect the eggs and her position as Zeus' mate.

I am hoping, against hope, that the female who is recovering is indeed Hera. If it isn't, it means my dear friend Hera was the one killed in the fight. Today, Zeus came to my back door for the first time, and from the roof above it, he searched for prey for himself and his brood. He let out two or three shrieks to let me know he was there. If I'd been paying attention, though, I wold have noticed his presence by the lack of any pigeons or other birds. They high-tail it out of here whenever Zeus is on the hunt. I do not blame them one bit, and am rather glad of it, pigeons being a bit messy and over-plentiful (in my opinion). I wanted to run outside and greet him, but didn't want to cause him any more stress than he is already experiencing. I hope he could hear my heart beat faster at his call, and know that I care.

Another suspicion of mine is that if it was Hera who was killed, it may have had something to do with having survived a very long winter here...and then laying five eggs...perhaps her strength had been compromised.

My prayer is that the surviving falcon is Hera and that she will quickly recover and return to tend her young. I know you join me in wishing them well.